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The
Simpsons Arcade Game |
| Hi. This page is all kinds of graphic intensive, so if you're on a slow modem, you might want to go get something to eat. Back in the spring of aught-four, I started a poll asking readers to vote for their favorite TV dad out of 64 possible choices. After six rounds of heated tournament battle, one Homer J. Simpson came out victorious, & as his prize, I promised to write a feature about his show. Well... I cheated a little. Sure, I loved the show & everything, but my fondest Simpsons memory was not in an episode. It was in a video arcade.
The Simpsons Arcade Game was what I call a "2 1/2-D fighting adventure game." You know, like Double Dragon, or Final Fight. In the early '90s, this genre gobbled up the most quarters, from since forgotten titles such as Vendetta & DJ Boy, to popular franchise-based games like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, X-Men, & this one. I wouldn't mind seeing the fighting adventure game make a comeback, especially since it's rare nowadays to find an arcade with any games that don't involve shooting, driving, or (shudder) dancing. Konami, the company responsible for earlier classics like Contra, put out the Simpsons Arcade Game in 1991, right at the end of the show's second season, & in the height of its popularity. I must have pumped a grand total of, oh, I'd say about 50 dollars of my lunch money into that machine before its tenure as the game to play was up. And I wouldn't regret it if that guess is accurate. Especially since it's about to provide me with perfectly good website content. Get ready, kids.
Oh no! A precious jewel has just been stolen from Springfield Jewelers by a very mischievous-looking Waylon Smithers wearing a cape full of bombs. I don't think I've ever seen Smithers look this evil before, & I certainly have never seen him wearing a cape full of bombs before. But this was early on in the series, when we didn't know a lot about Smithers yet. All we really knew at the time was that he was Mr. Burns's right-hand man, so having him rob a jewelers' wearing a cape full of bombs for his boss was perfectly believable. But enough bomb cape talk. Here comes everybody's favorite yellow-skinned family, out for a walk through downtown Springf... D'OH! Smithers runs right smack into Homer, sending the jewel flying out of Smithers's hands, into the air, & landing into...
Maggie's mouth! Wow, what a catch. I can barely catch popcorn in my mouth when I throw it in the air myself. Maggie's, what, a year old? And she's got it down to a science. Well, seeing as he just robbed a jewelry store, Smithers is in a bit of a rush, so instead of trying to remove the jewel from Maggie's mouth, he just grabs the kid & takes off running. And that, my friends, is the plot of the game. Control your favorite Simpson, as long as that Simpson isn't Maggie or O.J., & rescue Maggie from evil, bomb throwing Smithers. So, let's get started by introducing the players!
Player 1 controls Marge. I know she may seem like an odd choice for the first player, but scroll back up to the picture of the arcade tower. I'll be here when you come back... Hi! You see now? Player 1 is stuck in the corner. Not a very comfortable angle to be playing a video game, so they figured they'd put the character least likely to be picked over there, & if you showed up late to the arcade, that's your own fault. To beat up the bad guys, Marge uses a vacuum cleaner that seems to have appeared in her hand sometime between Maggie getting kidnapped & Homer snapping out of it at the crime scene. Scroll back up to the pic where you see Smithers running out of the Jewelers. Marge is holding Maggie. Where'd the vacuum cleaner come from? Did she pull it out of her hair? Does she normally take her vacuum cleaner for walks downtown? Hey, how'd Grandpa get here? Why are Patty & Selma are just standing there, letting Smithers get away with their frigging niece? So many questions!
Player 2 is Homer, or as the Arcade Game insists he's otherwise known, "Home Boy/Home Dude." I don't think Bart called him that more than once or twice. And maybe Johnny Arcade did a few times. But mostly I think this is just Konami trying to convince a 10 year old with a pocket full of quarters that they are witty & hilarious. Homer isn't prepared for any situation like Marge, so he didn't bring a cleaning utensil downtown with him. Instead, he just flips out & swings his bare fists around in the air like a maniac. It helps to aim for bad guys, & if you happen to be in the way of Homer's angry HULK SMASH fists, it's going to suck being you really quickly. Nobody steals Homer's kid, especially not his boss's dorky assistant.
Yo, man! Player 3 is the Bartman, himself. This is where most of my quarters went, for back in the beginning of the series, Bart was the star of the show. Well, maybe not so much on the actual show as on the merchandise rack. Fox milked the close-to-Bart's-age demographic for all its worth in the early '90s, & being of that age demographic, I succumbed to the must-have Bart merch fever. I must have worn that Bartman shirt twice a week. Watch it, dude. Bart uses his skateboard as a weapon, & either he's got some kind of magnetic grip on the thing, or Bart is the greatest sk8er boi ever. He smacks around bad guys while doing 180s & other moves I don't even know the names of, without ever wiping out.
Even when he gets punched in the face & knocked out, Bart never leaves the skateboard. His eyes jump directly out of their frigging sockets, but there is just no separating a boy & his wheels.
Player 4 controls Lisa, & it looks like Konami is running out of stupid nicknames & quotes for the profiles. But hey, they already said that Marge's main hobby was making tasty gelatin desserts, so having Lisa say "Embrace nothingness," like she said it more than one time on the whole series, by comparison, is quite alright. Lisa attacks using her jump rope as a whip, & I don't know what the thing's made of, but it seems to really hurt. At first I thought it'd be more appropriate for Lisa to swing around her saxophone, but after thinking about it some more, I suppose she wouldn't want to get it all dented up from continuously hitting people in the face with it.
Ashlee is not like her sister. I repeat, NOT like her sister. See, she has her hair dyed black! And instead of hitting people with a jump rope, she sounds like Avril Lavigne.
LEVEL 1: DOWNTOWN SPRINGFIELD
We start our adventure right at the scene of the crime. For this level, I'm going to play as Bart & Homer... AT THE SAME TIME! Ah, the beauty of custom keyboard assignment. I'm doing this to show you one of the unique advantages of playing with friends... the two player team-up. If you get both of your players to stand next to each other & wait a second, they'll latch onto each other for a special attack. In this case, Bart climbs on Homer's shoulders to form the ultimate chicken fight team. Homer uppercuts the bad guys while Bart smacks them with his skateboard at the same time. You'll also notice that Mr. Burns hired hundreds of goons in matching purple suits as backup for this mystery plan of his. I know it's nice to take precautions, & I know we're dealing with Smithers, but come on, it's just a jewel heist.
One of the best parts about this game is the amount of minor characters that show up in the background. You'll also see Principal Skinner & Martin Prince conversing before two guys in matching suits show up, call more bad guys over, & then quickly run away again. They'll be more important later. Old school Simpsons fans will recognize the redhead standing outside the Noiseland arcade as the hotshot video game champ who taught Homer how to beat Bart in that Punch Out type game. I don't remember his name, because I'M NOT A BIG DORK WHO REMEMBERS EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SIMPSONS EVER. Then again, who's the one writing a several thousand word dissertation on an out-of-print video game? And speaking of which, is that an advertisement for the game we're playing right now? I don't think we need any more convincing once we put in the quarter, guys.
Not a lot of people knew about this, but if you have more than one player, you can pick up the squad car & chuck it at somebody. Just have two players get in front of it, & hold up while hitting the attack button. That's right. According to this game, it takes a total of two people lift an entire automobile & throw it over their heads. Don't try that one at home, kids. Let's worry about more important matters, like why does the fire department want you dead?
Throughout the game, if you come across a tree, hit it. Some fruit will fall out of it & restore some of your health, until some rabbit with one ear climbs out of it & tells you to get lost. Apparently, the one-eared rabbit is a character from Matt Groening's comic strip, Life In Hell. Also, when you see a floating glove tell you to HURRY UP, you'd better listen to it, because if you ignore it & just stand there, it has no problem floating down & killing you in one flick. That's what you get for lollygagging, slacker.
I don't know whether that's Sherri or Terri, but one of those bratty twins is waiting at the end of the level to give you a cheeseburger. How nice of them. And don't forget to grab that bowling ball randomly sitting on the bridge before the fat guy in the suit comes down on an even more random rafter full o' spotlights. This can only mean one thing... BOSS FIGHT!
The fat guy magically changes into wrestling gear & starts attacking you! I don't really have a strategy for beating him. Well, you can start by throwing the bowling ball at him, & then try to develop a pattern of ground attacks & jump attacks to avoid getting hit. Usually he'll strike a pose after he hits you, & then his pants will fall down. That gives you a clear shot. And, like all evil bosses, he mysteriously flashes red as he gets weaker.
After you beat the evil wrestler guy, Smithers flies away with Maggie in a giant Krusty the Clown balloon. With all the planning that went into this big, important jewel heist, I don't see why Smithers couldn't just pause for a second, take the stupid jewel out of Maggie's mouth, & let her go along with a small fee to keep quiet about the whole robbery thing. Instead, Smithers lets out a high-pitched, maniacal laugh that would never come out of his mouth on the show. Something has definitely caused Waylon Smithers to go completely bonkers, & it doesn't look like he'll be taking my advice about letting Maggie go. Looks like you're going to have to follow him.
I think I'd be pretty scared if I found giant balloon versions of my own head waiting for me to pump it full of air at the bottom of a bridge. But the Simpsons don't seem to be phased by it, so here goes nothing. The first one to blow their balloon all the way up gets a whopping 64 points. LEVEL 2: KRUSTYLAND
It looks like Smithers borrowed the balloon from the Krustyland Amusement Park, & he's just returning it like a good citizen. How thoughtful. But look out, Marge & Lisa are on his trail! I hope you guys aren't paying attention to the scores or life bars at the top of the screens, because I'm more worried about taking good pictures than I am about actually playing well. It may look like Krusty is trying to kill you at the beginning of the level... and I hate to be the one to tell you this, but that's not really Krusty. It's just an old guy in a costume hired by the theme park to amuse/kill the guests. The real Krusty doesn't seem to show up at all in this level. Or anywhere in the game, for that matter. But boy, is he enjoying some great product placement.
Hey, it's Santa's Little Helper! I'm not sure what he's doing here, but you can pick him up & throw him at people. He seems to float when you do that. And it looks like Otto the bus driver & Dr. Marvin Monroe took part time jobs working concessions. Otto will give you cups of ice to toss at people's faces, & the now deceased family psychiatrist offers you free doughnuts, which add energy to your energy bar! Also, Milhouse will be wandering around by the teacups with a hammer. You can use it on the fat guys in the teacups who come after you. I still don't know how they managed to unhinge the teacups & ride around the amusement park in them. I've tried to do that several times, to no avail.
Eek! A goril-il-il-illa! That looks like Grape Ape's distant cousin, Strawberry Ape. Don't get too close though, because he'll punch the ice cream stand directly at you. Same thing with the bear. Not the Grape Ape's cousin part. The getting too close to its cage part. The bear's cage will fall down, allowing him to escape. He, too, will be important later. BOSS FIGHT!
When you reach the end of the Krustyland pier, that giant Krusty balloon Smithers was riding in earlier will be waiting... only now it's alive & angry at you for some reason. Sure, that smile may look jovial, but come on. It's a clown. Most of the time, it just claps its hands together & tries to smash you, but for about every 4 or 5 hits it takes, it'll bounce real high & try to land on you. And about halfway through the fight, it spits smaller balloons filled with cherry bombs up in the air. Well-timed jump attacks seem to work effectively. Never mind the fact that Marge looks totally happy just standing on the ground & smacking it in the chin with her vacuum cleaner. Way to go, mom!
When you beat the Krusty balloon hard enough, it grows really large & crashes through the pier, revealing that Smithers was controlling it from the inside the whole time! It wasn't a personal matter for him at first, but he didn't expect you to actually chase after your baby like you care about it or something. And frankly, he can't have you follow him & ruin his plans, whatever they are... and ew, what happened to Lisa's face?! It turns out that the pier at the edge of Krustyland isn't built over water like normal piers. Instead, they thought it'd be fun & scenic to build it over the edge of a very high cliff. So it looks like our heroes & Maggie will plummet to the ground below & splatter like balloons filled with cherry bombs. GAME OVER. Wasn't that fun? LEVEL 3: SPRINGFIELD DISCOUNT CEMETERY
Oh, wait. It looks like everyone fell right into a giant, fluffy evergreen tree that broke their fall. Guess we're back on the chase here in Springfield Discount Cemetery. Wow, this place looks pretty at night... not like most cemeteries. Where's the spooky fog? If there weren't dead people, I'd kind of want to drive down there & make out under the stars. Or we could still do it with the dead people there, & it'd make for a totally awesome horror movie scene.
Don't be scared. That ghost hanging from the tree is just a bad guy in disguise. It looks like this run through the graveyard is still part of Smithers's getaway plan. You know, with all the money they must be paying these backup lankies, they could've just bought the frigging jewel. Finally, this place is starting to look more like a cemetery. Not only do we have gravestones, but there are some skulls on the ground that someone must have forgotten to bury. Oh yeah, & zombies. Luckily, there just happens to be a slingshot lying on the ground. Nothing kills a zombie quite like a slingshot to the throat.
Yes! YES!! No haunted graveyard is complete without a bunch of zombies doing a choreographed dance number. This is my favorite part of the entire game.
Lightning strikes when you reach the edge of the cemetery, & the giant gravestone there opens up to reveal a secret passageway. Bart & Lisa, you go down into the crypt. Velma, you go with Shaggy & Scooby. We'll just let the fat guy in the pink shirt here to fend for himself.
Hey, this is some kind of secret elevator shaft! The platform slowly goes down five floors as more of Smithers's lankies jump on & try to kill you. You can knock them off for an easy kill, but be careful, because they can do the same to you! At the bottom of the elevator shaft is... Moe's Tavern?! Since when is Moe's Tavern six stories underneath a cemetery? Maybe it's a secret back entrance that nobody knew about. BOSS FIGHT!
It's those two guys in the matching suits that kept showing up & calling bad guys on us. I don't know who they are, or why the short one has the same size suit as the tall one, but they don't seem to like you very much. Besides the usual punching, the big guy likes to grab the little guy by his tie & pull him back like a whip. I don't know what that tie is made of, but regardless, I still wouldn't try that trick at home. You might snap somebody's head off. Concentrate on the tall one first. He's easier to hit, plus once the little one is by himself, he isn't much of a threat anymore. Oddly enough, these guys don't blink when they're about to die. Maybe, deep down inside, they really aren't evil. Just hired goons trying to do their job. Luckily, there are some barrels nearby, & whenever you see barrels in a platform fighting game like this one, that means there's something inside. In this case, it's a burger & a hot dog. Never mind that they've probably been sitting there for a while, & thus are probably cold or have E coli. They still manage to give you an energy boost instead of making you vomit. LEVEL 4: MOE'S TAVERN
Well, the game says that this is Moe's Tavern, but I don't remember it looking like some kind of elite jazz club with posters of April Showers & "Bart Tracy" on the wall. Sure enough, there's Moe & Barney. Hey, wait. Is Moe getting a crank call? Somebody's invading Bart's turf! Never mind that he's not in these screen shots. You can pick up that pie for an energy boost, & that bar stool for throwing at people. You can even hit Barney in the face if you want, but he'll just walk away, sad.
Why, it's Bleeding Gums Murphy, wailing his sax on stage with some go-go dancers! And hey, is that Simpsons arcade machine supposed to be the game we're playing right now? That's creepy... but not as creepy as the fact that Maggie seems to be the only thing the TV. But what I really want to know is when Moe's got so huge & high-class. I'm starting to think that the guys who made this game never actually watched the show. I think somebody just gave them some names & places with brief descriptions, & told them to make a video game out of it. BOSS FIGHT!
The boss of this level is just some bloke who got drunk & fell asleep behind the bar... which lowers down to the floor & wakes him up, & he's not very happy about that second part. The first part's pretty awesome, though. I wish all my furniture could do that. Most of the time, Drunk Guy just waddles around & taunts you. Then he wails on you when you get close. Quick, repetitive jump attacks work best, as long as you keep your distance from him the rest of the time. He also seems to have caught a cold, & breathes fire when he sneezes. Dude, what did he drink? I want to breathe fire!
Once you beat the drunk dude... it's Coyote Ugly time! Get up & dance! Then the shelves behind you rise up to reveal another elevator. Next stop... LEVEL 5: SPRINGFIELD BUTTE
Of course! The elevator drops you off in the middle of the wilderness! I don't get this game at all. I also like how there's a kiddie tube conveniently floating down stream the second Smithers lets her go, because he's being chased by that bear that escaped from Krustyland. And hey, didn't the sun just set at the end of Level 2? It was night in the cemetery, & now it's morning?! I don't remember Moe's being that long of a level. Somebody must've hit the Improbability Drive button. Mos Def, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it. The bigfoot type creatures in this level kind of look like Homer, & they attack just like him, too. Remember that episode where the Simpsons go camping? And then they get separated? And then Homer falls into the mud? And someone takes a picture because he thinks Homer is Bigfoot? I think that's supposed to be where we are.
You'll find Nelson hanging out by this waterfall with a slingshot. Make sure you grab it off him. Then make sure you laugh at him, because you stole his slingshot. Ha-ha! When passing over the waterfall, rocks will fall down off the cliff, & Blinky the three-eyed fish will swim up the waterfall. We're not just talking upstream here, people. Up. The frigging. Waterfall. That there's a powerful fish.
Yup, that's Sideshow Bob, alright... but instead of trying to kill you, he has a cart with an entire turkey on it for you to eat. And that doesn't even kill you... it gives you an energy boost! That clinches it... Konami didn't know anything about the show. Luckily, they make it up by letting you throw a raccoon at people. And that tree stump, & that boulder... that's one of the basic rules of platform fighters. If it looks like you can pick it up, you probably can. And the whole time, that happy bear in the background just looks on, like this is the coolest thing he's ever seen in his entire happy bear life. BOSS FIGHT!
Not all the bears in the forest are happy to see you. The one that escaped from Krustyland is still quite pissed off at humans in general. So that means you have to die. Whenever you see the bear let out a roar, get away from it, because that means it's going to curl up into a ball & roll at you. Also, whenever you knock the bear down, it'll shake the ground so hard, rocks will fall from the face of the cliff. So watch out for those as well. Hitting the bear from its bear behind seems to work well.</bad joke>
When you finally knock the bear unconscious, it shrinks & turns into a fat guy, who then keels over & dies. I guess they added that in to keep animal rights activists off their case. "No no, it's not cruelty to animals. Look, see! It's just a fat guy in disguise!" You win this round, Konami.
Oh no, there goes Maggie! Our heroes swim after her as Smithers picks her up in a stolen Krusty Toys helicopter... right before she's about to go over a waterfall. As for the other Simpsons, they wash up at the edge of the river, unconscious... LEVEL 6: DREAMLAND
Don't think that you can stop fighting, just because you're lying unconscious in the middle of the woods! Now it's time to run through your own mind all day! Hey baby, you must be exhausted. Amazingly, all 4 players find themselves in the exact same dream, which probably means something, but I never bothered to actually pick up & read one of those dream interpretation books, & I'm not about to because of a frigging video game. Since this is a multi-player nightmare, elements from each Simpson's brain waves make an appearance to try & kill you. Immediately you'll find yourself being attacked by an army of flying doughnuts with legs that spit smaller, non-flying, non-legged doughnuts at you. Then, while walking by the Dreamland version of Bart & Lisa's school, a bunch of Marge heads will emerge from the cloudy floor & start whipping you with their giant hairdos.
These flying saxophones spit music notes at you, but they're easy to avoid. Several jump attacks will do them in... plus when you hit them, they make the exact noise you'd expect from a saxophone that's come to life & just got kicked in the face. I saw somebody fly past the screen really quick as the word MAGGIE! falls out of the sky, but I always just assumed it was Smithers, because he had that same high-pitched cackle Smithers had earlier. But now that I look at it, it's totally not Smithers. It kind of looks like hotshot lawyer Lionel Hutz. Why Lionel Hutz is spraypainting a road sign, I have no idea. Dreams are so screwed up, aren't they?
Some evil power plant employees will show up just in time for you to throw the letters in the word MAGGIE! at them. Even the exclamation point! Exclamation point! However, as soon as you knock the helmet off one of them, you'll notice that they aren't power plant employees at all... just power plant protection suits that have come to life, assembled themselves together, & decided that you should die. They take a lot of hits before the entire suit is disassembled & blinks out of existence, but they don't do much attacking at all. Bart demons usually show up after you've lost all your lives, but you'll encounter a whole swarm of them in Dreamland, & they like to zap you with lightning. As long as you keep jump attacking, you should be fine. BOSS FIGHT!
The boss in your crazy, multi-player nightmare is a giant, angry bowling ball. What?! Like your dreams ever make sense. It's not too difficult to defeat, as long as you know when to get out of its way. It has several attack phases before it finally gives up. First, it rolls around & tries to squash you. After you hit it enough times, the bowling ball will grow arms made up of smaller bowling balls. Oddly enough, it never thinks to actually try & punch you with its newfound arms, but instead uses them to hop around & try to crush you. For its third attack phase, it forgets the arm idea & grows legs instead. Then it walks around shooting bowling-pin-shaped missiles at you. And then, when you hit him enough times, it'll actually try punching back. Standing behind it doesn't always work, because the arm can whip back & get you there as well. Just keep hitting the bowling ball & keep your eye on that arm.
Once you defeat the bowling ball, it'll shrink down & crumble into pieces, & it's just about this time that you come to at the edge of the river. Well, almost...
It's time for another bonus stage! The first one to smack themselves in the face enough that they're awake & realize that they still have to rescue Maggie wins an easy 80 bonus points!
Oh no! Smithers's Krusty kopter is landing on top of the Channel 6 building! Wait, so the Channel 6 building is right at the edge of a waterfall coming down from the Springfield Butte? I guess I'm not too surprised. One time I interned at a radio station that said it was in Philadelphia, but was really a half hour north, down a winding back road in the middle of the woods on the edge of a river. I guess that's a prime spot for broadcasting stations. LEVEL 7: CHANNEL 6
It looks like Maggie's kidnapping is today's top story, but I wouldn't exactly call her missing. Did that news anchor miss Smithers running by with her? And hey, who is this guy, anyway? What happened to Kent Brockman? They made Marvin Monroe sell frigging doughnuts to get in the game, & they can't get Kent Brockman in a level that takes place in his building of employment?! Screw you, Konami. A little further into the level, you'll find yourself on the set of an alien show. It may look low-budget, but they actually hired a real evil space robot to play the part of the evil space robot. And now that you've interrupted its scene, you've just pissed it off. Now it has to zap you with its laser eyes. Luckily, you can pick up that green alien & use it as a weapon several times before it realizes what you're doing & floats off into the dressing room.
What really impresses me about this level is the fact that you can jump onto the mezzanine in a single bound. I wish I could do that at work, but I don't have access to the mezzanine. Alright, ninjas! Actually, I don't think these are real ninjas. Sure, they appear in a cloud of smoke, & do some flips, & throw some ninja stars at you, but they're not too difficult to defeat. Which brings me to my point. You can defeat them. No real ninja would suffer defeat from a mother of three with a vacuum cleaner or broom. I'd guess that they were just well-trained stuntmen, but I don't think they're actors, either. Actors wouldn't be trying to kill you if you invaded their set. They'd get on the horn with their agents & complain that this isn't in their contract. I think the last set of Mr. Burns's hired goons were getting tired of the matching suits, so they found some ninja gear in the wardrobe room & went nuts. I know I would. BOSS FIGHT!
The boss of Level 7 is a Kabuki dancer in polka dotted pants, & assuming he's drawn to scale, he's about 8 feet tall & could easily swallow Bart in a few bites. I think he's another boss hired by Mr. Burns, & when he saw the other guys found some ninja costumes, he wanted to get in on the fun, but all he could find that fit him were some giant pajamas that didn't match. And face paint. Kabuki man spends most of the time dancing around & really getting into his role. Ground attacks are quicker, but jump attacks will help you avoid Kabuki man's spear. Occasionally, he'll charge at you, whirling the thing in front of him, so stay out of his way until he starts dancing again. All in all, he's not a difficult boss to tackle. The tricky part is dealing with him & the ninjas that keep coming after you at the same time.
Alright, now that we're heading into the final level of the game, let's call in all the troops while Bart & Marge are standing around. OMG BART SAID HELL IN A VIDEO GAME!!1 Smithers tries to escape out the back, in the same helicopter he used to land at Channel 6. Now why didn't he just fly straight to the Power Plant? Was he trying to throw us off? Wait, I know what it is. I bet the ninjas were already paid in advance, so he figured he'd better give them a job to do. So the Simpsons grab onto the bottom of the Krusty kopter, & Bart still hangs onto the skateboard with no hands! I don't know where Marge stored her vacuum cleaner for the time being. Maybe in her hair. I think I'd notice if it was hiding in her dress. LEVEL 8: SPRINGFIELD NUCLEAR POWER PLANT
Smithers dashes out of the helicopter & into the Power Plant, our heroes not far behind him. Since they missed Take Your Family To Work Day, Homer gives everyone a quick tour of the place.
Smithers is waiting for you, welcoming you to "his world" in a completely unSmitherslike voice. Then he starts running around the room & throwing bombs all over the place. He won't attack you directly, but the bombs actually do a bit of damage. He'll occasionally drop little blue time bombs that you can throw back at him, but I wouldn't hang around waiting for him to do that. Jump attacks are the most efficient way to defeat him.
Eventually, & probably after a few continues on your part, Smithers will accidentally light all the bombs in his cape & blow himself to Smithereens. GET IT LOL! That's when Mr. Burns, himself, crashes through the wall in a giant robot suit, & tosses Maggie across the room. So that's what he wanted the diamond for. Dr. Wily must've been having a garage sale, & Mr. Burns knew that money printed in the 20th century was no good to a mad scientist from the future. So he put a down payment on it & promised a big diamond to take care of the rest.
Maybe it was just because I was concentrating on getting good screen shots, but I have to say that Mr. Burns is one of the toughest final bosses I've ever faced. I used a lot of continues in this battle, mostly because my Dr. Wily joke up there was actually pretty accurate. Mr. Burns's new robot suit has several attack phases. The best strategy at the beginning is just to stick & move, avoiding his extendable, go-go-gadget arms, as well as the occasional small-scale nuclear bomb. If you can trap Monty-bot into a corner, you can get a good amount of hits in, as long as you stay near the center of his robot body. After quite a number of hits, the robot's legs will fall off, only to be replaced by tank treads. In this attack phase, Burns will launch missiles at you, along with the punching & nuclear bombs. Repetitive jump attacks, quickly jumping again as you land each attack, should do the trick here.
Once you've broken the robot's tank treads, it'll convert into a hovercraft, using retractable claws to attack you, & occasional laser beams, which do quite a bit of damage. The best strategy at this point is to make sure you don't throw your controller or keyboard across the room, or bang the arcade tower too hard & cause it to tilt. I know it'll be tough to control your temper once you knock a chunk of sheet metal off the side of the robot, only to make it move faster. So hold onto the controller, & keep doing those jump attacks. Or, if you can get him back into the corner, you can get in a few more quick hits.
After several hundred hits & about two bucks' worth of quarters later, the Wily-brand super robot will be destroyed, & Mr. Burns will fall flat on his back in exhaustion. That's when Maggie decides that it's safe to come out from the other side of the room. The entire family has a bit of a stunned look on their face. Maybe it's because they're tired, & after seeing Marge ride the vacuum cleaner like that, I don't blame her.
You don't get much of a great ending for the money you pumped into the thing, but to top it off, Maggie does put her pacifier into Mr. Burns's mouth, while she continues to suck on that diamond. Aren't diamonds supposed to have sharp edges? That can't be comfortable in her mouth like that. I know she's teething & all, but come on. HOW TO PLAY THE SIMPSONS
ARCADE GAME BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF IDIOTS
WHO ARE TOO LAZY TO DO RESEARCH SENDING ME IM'S ABOUT IT...
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